This is not the topic that I should be speaking on. I tricked a 19 year old boy into proposing to me before his 21st birthday, and he was actually my first boyfriend. See? I’m not the “wait for the right person all the way through your twenties” person, because I was the person who found their person at the beginning of their twenties. That doesn’t happen for everyone. And for some reason, if you’re not married young- the world thinks that there’s something wrong with you. (But let’s be honest, in the standards of the world- there’s always something wrong with millennials) Today, I just want you know that there are reasons why it’s GOOD that you’re single right now.
This whole “time of growth & change” is real
I’m halfway through my twenties (and approaching 26, married, without a baby, a house and a normal career) and I’m sitting here giving you advice. Instead of me giving you this list of reasons why being single is a blessing, we’re going to look inside of you.
First, did you feel this way about marriage at 18 when you graduated high school? Second, how many relationships have you been in? Have you compared those failed relationships to what you don’t want? If the answer was zero, do you know why? Third, Do you really want to be married right now? Or is this a jealousy of “eveyone else and their Instagram husbands”? Fourth, Are you really ready?
Didn’t see that coming did you? You have a lot of “internals” to answer, that I can’t. No Pinterest article, quote, best friend or Oprah type of speech can tell you that you should or should not be in a relationship.
Here’s what I want to get across. You’re going to continue to grow and change, and so is the person that you’re going to end up with. You wouldn’t want to stop someone’s growth before they’re ready for you, do you? No. You want to find prince Charming when the time is right. But you’re so worried about the prince, that you’re not growing yourself. Boom. Mind blown. Don’t you want your future husband to have every inch of you, your growth, your change and your heart at the right time? Stop running into the arms of every Steve, Austin and Carson at the bar and wait for the right dude. Plus, it’s time for you right now.
It’s Time To Be Selfish
Once you hop in bed with the monster that you call your significant other- you don’t just live for yourself anymore. So many people complain about being alone, and have no idea that once they are married, the focus shifts.
Right now, you can choose the vacation because it’s where you want to go. Eat at whatever restaurant you want and not fight over the check. You can shop on Saturday or sit with your pants off and binge Netflix. You can take a forty seven minute shower and don’t have to share the hot water. You can buy yourself flowers, take yourself on a date and there’s no chance you could be disappointed at the end of the night.
This is your twenties. You don’t get to do this ever again. I know, seeing the #mcm or #wcw or blah blah crush whenever posts are sad because your #mcm is your dog, but come on. You have the rest of your life to be tied to another person. Take some time to be pumped that Grey’s Anatomy has been on for 6 hours and no one’s asking to watch Football.
I guess if you came here for tips to surviving being alone, I’ve failed you. But I haven’t, because like I said before, the internet can not determine your failed past, or successful future relationships. I just want you to open your eyes to all the great things about being alone, and let go of all the shitty things about being alone. You have the rest of your life to be married, with kids who puke on the couch, with a dog who poops on the floor, and a mortgage payment. Do your thing now. You’re alone, but you’re fine.