I feel like I do a lot of “here’s about my life” & “here’s how to make yours better”, but don’t spend enough time talking about who I am. Sure, I’m an axiety ridden twenty-something who tries to lose weight and stay off of WebMD but that’s not all I am. I also have interests other than puppies, tacos & Diet Coke (shocker, I know). Today, we’re going to talk about the things that make me, me.
25 Random Facts About Jen Salisbury:
- I always wanted to name my first dog Pancake, but Ellie does not look like a Pancake.
- I have a ridiculous “bed time” routine which goes like this: Turn on 90 Minute Sleep Timer, Turn TV volume to 12, Make sure door is locked, Turn off Heat/Air, Turn on Fan- Level Two, Take Out Contacts, Go To Bathoom, Get In Bed- One Pillow Vertical, One Horizontal, Lay on Stomach- facing Left. (This is not a joke)
- I have a substantial savings account because I have a fear of losing money. I am not poor at all, I’m just terrified of running out of money.
- I have a reality TV addiction. Every single Bravo TV show gets watched. I do not miss them, ever.
- I use a “soccer dad” wallet, which is actually a sticky card holder on the back of my iPhone.
- Goat videos make me happier than just about anything else on the internet.
- I’ve been asked to sell waist trainers and skinny tea, which means I’ve been approached to be an Instagram thot. Cool.
- All of my unborn children are already named, and one has a Harry Potter reference thrown in.
- I used to want to be an Elementary School teacher. The reason i’m not, is not because I started hating kids. Actually, I was afraid that I’d get too attached and would be sad every year when it was summer.
- My ultimate 100% favorite movie EVER is “Cheaper By The Dozen”.
- My alcoholic beverage of choice is Miller Lite. Because, let me reiterate that I’m a soccer dad.
- I can say the alphabet backwards. Fast. With my eyes closed or open. While I’m spinning in a circle. Whatever you need, I can do it.
- Dylan and I call each other “cat”. Why? Because I used to message him “meow” to stop a conversation with him, then when we were dating- I’d say “meow” AT him (because that’s the way to keep a boyfriend”), and once we were engaged I’d say “I’m a cat”, and somehow we just kept it going forever?
- My guilty pleasure musically is probably the High School Musical station on iHeartRadio. All day, everyday.
- Every “Instagram” photo I take is pretty much the same outfit because I’m not fashionable.
- I already had an Instagram for the dog I didn’t yet own. I posted on it before we got her so it was “ready” for her and “aesthetically pleasing”. I hate myself… @EllieSalisburyy ya’ll.
- I don’t hate anything as much as I hate the color orange. I also had an orange car for four years. That’s not even the reason I hate orange, I just hate it.
- Every time Dylan & I go on a road trip, we describe in detail what we’d do if we won 500 million dollars. We fight about it for three hours.
- I will never be able to live more than 20 minutes away from a Target, I just won’t.
- I communicate everything. From my period to my favorite song on the radio, Dylan knows it all. More than he probably wants to.
- I have location services on Dylan’s phone for three reasons. 1. So I can unlock the door when he’s almost home. 2. If I go missing, he can find me. 3. I’m nuts.
- I have conversations with myself. Full ones. Like MLA formatted paragraphs. Or, I talk through situations that never happen. This is literally what I do in the car. If you ever see me, I’m not singing along to the radio, I am talking to myself about how I’d convince an ax murderer not to ax murder me. Or sometimes, I’ll pretend like some person is going to approach me and try to convince me to run away from Dylan and start a new life & I go through how I’d handle the situation- you know, just in case that was to happen…?
- Everything I do is right foot first. Putting on pants, shoes, stepping on stairs. It’s weird, but I’m not capable of doing it the other way.
- I want to be a stay at home mom and need Dylan to find me the money to do so asap.
- I have to fall asleep every single night to a rotation of four things. How I Met Your Mother, Boy Meets World, Cheaper By The Dozen, or Disney Channel. Poor Dylan.
I’m fun, guys.
Quick! Share three facts about yourself below!