Being a Fairbanks was easy.

Sometimes, I still think I’m a Fairbanks too. Everything that I’ve ever done in my entire life was done as Jen Fairbanks. No one questioned my driver’s license. No one stopped me from purchasing something as Jen Fairbanks, because proof of my existence was as Jen Fairbanks. Now though, everything I do, see, purchase, apply for, try to breathe near, make eye contact with, eat, touch, smell, etc gets questioned. 

Dear World, I’m not trying to be a part of the Witness Protection Program…

I think it’s my fault though, that going from Fairbanks to Salisbury has become an ordeal.

First, when I was 16 or 17- I threw a checkbook in the garbage by mistake. Strike one right? Well, it was filled with blank checks. Strike two. It also was holding my social security card. Strike three. From 17 years old-on, I’ve lacked a social security card.

I’ve tried to replace it, four times, but for some reason the government hates me. That’s a whole separate story for a whole different day. Then I got married. Now, I need to get a new social security card, license, bank card, email address, brain recognition, Facebook status, and really- I feel like I should get a new car too as a result?

Why is it so hard to change my last name?

I just want to walk into one office, sign a form, get all my newly named things, and leave. Instead, everything you need to change is in different offices, in different cities, with different people, and it’s hella annoying. Also, instead of being able to be on top of the game, I’ve been stuck waiting to change my name until I’m “beach married” because home girl got a plane ticket, cruise ticket, Disney World Magic Band, and a whole slew of other things for an upcoming vacation as a Fairbanks.

Why is life so difficult?

#DylanChangeYourLastNane #DylanFairbanks

Has anyone else had a heck of a time changing to their “new name” after marriage, or am I just dramatic?

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