I don’t know how many parts I will get in this blog, but we’re going to throw it out there that I’m going to do this until the police show up at my door. (Or until you all become normal). Have you ever noticed that the weirdest people are your Facebook friends, or friends of your friends? You want to be nice to them because they’re usually family or people you went to high school with but sweet baby Jesus, People are WEIRD. I can only go on for so long thinking that they’re weird alone, I need to share this with you all. So I present to you, the weird things I saw on the Facebook in the last couple of weeks. (Side note, MOST of these are “friends of friends”, things I’ve seen because someone shared, liked, or commented. Some of these ARE my friends, but it’s all in good fun, and I don’t want anyone to be “personally hurt” by any of this. Ya’ll are nuts)

First, I just want to say that I hate the Bachelor and Bachelorette. It takes up my entire social media sphere whenever it’s on, which feels like every single day, and I really hate it so much. Not only for the fact that apparently people can all fall in love with one person over the course of however many weeks, but because people actually are hooked on it. I tried to watch it, I wanted to give it a chance, but the amount of scripting and the way they glorify one person hooking up with a bunch of people like it’s super awesome and cool and that’s how you fall in love, makes me want to vomit. Go ahead and post your sports opinions during the game, let’s live tweet awards shows, and let’s even try to social media save someone on music competitions, but jeepers creepers, let’s stop cheering for a woman who’s put herself on tv for weeks and weeks to find “true love”. (I just want to throw this show off of a cliff!) …and THAT is one thing that keeps showing up on Facebook.

Next, This week I got event invitation to someone who I don’t know’s, brother’s, cat’s, birthing? We had like 20-something mutual friends, and apparently she wanted me to be apart of this really special time in her brother’s cat’s life. I think the purpose of this was to sell me a kitten, but please don’t invite me to a birthing ceremony for a cat, ever.

Today I saw a post of someone’s dog. Started off easy enough, right? No no, this post was shared, by the human, of the dog’s Facebook, in which there was a post about how awesome their human was. Read that a few times, then get back to me.

Personally, I was really glad someone decided to Snapchat the entire 4 hour of Drake’s concert, including the openers, and then save and upload the Snapchat to Facebook so I can see four hours of video from last night. Do you have any space left on your iPhone?

Someone posted a vague Facebook status that said “I need someone to talk to”, and then a friend commented “I’m here for you! I just texted you!” and they responded “I don’t really want to talk.” -Still scratching my head-

I got to see 17 screen shots of a relationship’s fight about the “other woman”, and the dude denying the other woman existed. In his post, he said “my girl is crazy if she thinks I’m cheating” and in the text he spelled his “side chick’s” name wrong. You wouldn’t know, except for the “side chick-that isn’t the side chick-but is really the side chick” commented on it and let him know he forgot the E. Check. Mate.

And lastly, the BEST. A girl shared a video of a recipe and captioned it “if only I had someone to cook for me” and her mother, HER MOTHER, commented on it, “If only you didn’t lay on the couch all day and share cooking videos, you might find someone” WHAT.

Where did all these crazies come from? Happy Monday!

 

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