We’re in the homestretch. Saturday, Ellie comes home.
This has been the longest month of my entire life. I wanted to talk about why we got Ellie, beyond just the fact that we decided we should sneak a dog into our apartment. If you’ve been reading my blogs for any amount of time, seen my Facebook (ever?) or watched the videos I retweet on Twitter, you’d know that I want a dog.
For three years, at least once a week I ask Dylan for a dog. (Now, if you check the time stamp on that, we were living with our parents three years ago) I’ve been begging him to add another member to our family since I realized I wanted this guy to throw a rock on my finger… Once we moved to Lincoln, I began scouring the rescue dog websites all around Lincoln. I figured if I found one with a story that spoke to us, it would come home with us. Dylan had other ideas. Actually, his only rule was “No rescue dogs”.
I have a heart for animals. Dylan doesn’t. It was hard to even convince him that we needed a dog, ever- much less one who’s story we didn’t really know. He wasn’t keen on taking on a dog who’s been through trauma or pain, and didn’t want that dog to dislike us just because other humans hurt them. I on the other hand wanted to save a dog and show it all of the love it’s been missing in it’s life.
Ellie’s coming from a breeder, so you can see who won…
Once we started having a rocky road in our relationship in Lincoln, the dog continued to get push down on the list of things to bring in our lives. Actually, there was a very long time when I didn’t ask about dogs, because I wasn’t sure if we were going to last. I didn’t want to bring a dog into a relationship, break up and then spend 14 years fighting over it. So, we stopped talking about it. My anxiety would continue to almost debilitate my daily life, and all I wanted was something to bring my purpose, yet I stayed quiet because I didn’t really think we could have one.
In December, the idea of the dog came back up, in conversation rather than the normal “look at this one, look at this one, but wait- this one is the cutest!”. I knew that it was going to be another conversation filled with a giant N-O, but instead the conversation switched… “Maybe we should get a dog, it might help your anxiety.” My outward demeanor was probably calm, cool and collected- but inside I was not. A mixture of frustration (because I’ve known that for over a year, thank you) and happiness (more like flipping cartwheels) filled my head. At that point I knew that the maybe could change to yes.
After talking with my parents, Chelsie (who was getting a dog which turned into two), and basically everyone else- we were told to wait until after the wedding. So i shut up about it, but checked the website daily. I was at the point where I knew that having a puppy would probably ease a lot of the issues that I like to create in my head. (Cause obviously nothing cures 14 forms of cancer, pancreatitis, and death like a puppy) For two months, every so often Dylan would tease me about it- saying he wanted a puppy, but also saying he wanted living room furniture, a million dollars, and Taco Bell…
Forward to Thursday March 9th. Dylan, while laying in bed decided to look through the dogs for sale in Iowa page. He would show me a dog, I would disprove him with (it sheds, totally barks, will be 93 pounds or just a plain ew) and we eventually went to bed. Not before Dylan tweeted to the entire world that he wanted a puppy. That was it- that’s when I knew. Once I knew that Dylan had it in his head, had put it in the universe and was bringing it up in conversation- we’d end up with a puppy.
What I didn’t realize was that the decision would be made in the car, en route to Chicago for St. Patrick’s Day… The day after he decided he wanted a puppy.
Four hours deep in a car ride, Dylan asked to look at my phone & to look at the dog site. I said “We are not picking a dog out this weekend Dylan.” and within ten minutes I had messaged Liz, put down a deposit and was a fur mama.
I have a baby. with four legs & a tail.
I know that Dylan sees it on my face. I know everyone around me is so sick and tired of hearing about it. There is this sense of completion and happiness I feel, and I can’t explain it. Maybe this girl’s already helping to heal my anxiety? Or maybe I just don’t feel like the world is out to get me anymore… All I know is that I’m a fur mama & Ellie comes home in two days.
Onto this new adventure…