What is my life #6?
Do you remember a few weeks ago when I wrote about how hard life was for me and that I wanted to let you know that you’re not alone? Read about it here. Then the week before that I posted my Hypochondriac Chronicles. Overall, up until this week, life was rough. A comparable rough to MY life, but there’s people who have it way worse and I understand that. In that blog post I just kept saying “I’m going to be okay”. Here I am, I am okay.
I am dramatic. I can see my old co-workers at the Y rolling their eyes. My mom is throwing her arms up in the air. Dylan is probably saying “duh”. Chelsie is most likely reading this while driving, and laughing. Everyone that knows me, knows this. It’s the whole “give an inch take a mile”, but more like “feel a side ache, appendicitis, impending doom forever”. Honestly though, life has been a piece of work lately. I didn’t think I was going to get a chance to come up for air, I thought I was going to drown.
All of a sudden this week, life just kind of “clicked”. The sunshine that entered my room Monday morning was kind of a sign saying “here you go, get ready for change”. I only used webMD twice, I didn’t have a panic attack, I continued to work hard and put myself first. I felt really great looking in the mirror & life is happening.
MAY GOAL DIGGER RECAP:
Goals: save money, work hard, let go of things I can’t control. Girls & Boys, today I spent 77.00 on bras. So that whole “saving money” thing is kind of not doing so great, but I did work hard, and I’ll never let go of things, let’s be real. Overall, this month was something else. I used to think it could take a lap, but now I realized that it was so necessary. All of that struggle is paying off. So vague.
#getFIT – 16
I didn’t hit my goal weight in time for our trip. I don’t think I can lose five pounds in five days, so I don’t think it’s going to happen. I put a bikini on Thursday morning, prepared to cringe and cry, & didn’t hate it. I have been slimming down in all the right places, and while my thighs want to be out to play. They just never quit! I’m happy at the number on the scale, while not as small as I once was, maybe this is what the end of being 24 holds for me. I’m okay with it, at least today.
Life is happening right now. Life is so happening right now. That season of sadness, anxiety, and worry is slowly drifting away. I swear guys, all of those panic attack, floor of the shower, praying to God moments were worth it. All of the struggles to get through a Tuesday were worth it. The webMD moments, worry about school loans, fear of moving onto the next step, and body issue worries were worth it. I feel like I’ve come out on the other side so much stronger. Dylan said that “he was right” because for over a month he’s been preaching that “it’s all going to work out” and boy, there’s truth in that for sure. We leave on Thursday for California & I’m so excited. It’s absolutely, 100% the beginning of the next season of my life. The season of struggle is over, the season of change is in full effect, and the season of new is about to begin. I’m ready for June.