I guess this isn’t really a “what is my life” as it could be a “#getFIT” post, but I wanted to save my remaining two #getFIT’s to focus around the end of my Farrell’s session, so here we are.
I woke up this morning not pleased with how I looked, felt, and how my progress pictures reflected. I proceeded to get on the scale, not a fan of the numbers. (when am I ever?) Then got into bed, got on my phone, and read 150 posts from body building, bikini competing, and macro successful girls who look SUPER perfect in their pictures. The little self esteem I had left promptly jumped off our second story deck, and I became even more upset.
You see, I enjoyed myself this weekend. I drank wine, I ate wings, I was happy. I also had a little bit of a “life issue” (cue Chelsie and Dylan laughing at me), which woke me up this morning VERY bloated & I GUARANTEE you that I am retaining some water. This was evident in my pictures, my scale reading, but wasn’t evident in the comparisons to those girls on the internet. Those girls who’ve learned how to contort their bodies, flex their abs, and whiten their teeth before they upload pictures. I sat there and said “WHY did I lose more weight LAST week” “Maybe I’ll NEVER lose the weight” “I’m so unhappy” (cue world’s smallest violin) (we talk about this often, don’t we?)
So, as soon as I post this, I will say goodbye. Goodbye to the 45 instagram fitness models that I think I NEED to be. Goodbye to both macro pages that I follow, because it’s BRINGING ME DOWN. Goodbye to the Twitter’s that I stalk daily. They are NOT helping me lose weight, they are helping me lose esteem. They weren’t there the first time I lost the weight, and I still LOST WEIGHT. Now, I’m a firm believer in motivation, but I need to be motivated by something that BUILDS me instead of BREAKS me down… Ya know?
I have to remember that although I’m NOT as skinny as I was a year and a half ago, I’m also NOT as large as I was four years ago. I’m making progress, and all those girls who’ve reached their peak and are currently flexing their abs ALSO have a journey. I can’t compare myself to them, and they won’t EVER get to have my journey either.
So just in case you’re feeling a little down on yourself from this weekend, from the numbers on the scale, or looking in the mirror everyday, just remember this is YOUR journey. Stop worrying about the number on the scale, the length of time that it takes to get there, or how far you have to go. One. Day. At. A. Time. (I wanted to apologize for posting about fitness again, or LITERALLY continuing to talk about this whole “journey” we’re all on, but something inside of me tells me that ONE of you need to hear it today, so here you go) Happy Monday!
(don’t worry guys, my next post won’t be about fitness. it will be about my next favorite topic, Dylan)