Our LAST weekend in Lincoln, Nebraska.
Saturday morning woke us up at 6:00am and took us to Des Moines. Obviously, as smart people do, we didn’t sleep Friday night, so we were running on empty. Along we that, we had to bring Dylan’s car to DM to leave it there, so I had to drive alone in my car. That was terrible. Within twelve seconds at the new apartment, we signed the lease and were in love. Also, we currently own two apartments, so that’s cool… #ballerstatus
Saturday night we went to bed at 7:30. Glorious. Before that, I broke up with the scale. Listen, this scale has controlled me for the last four years. I let the scale dictate how I saw myself, how I enjoyed my days, and how I felt like Dylan saw me. I got to a point where I would weigh myself three or four times A DAY. It just wasn’t healthy anymore. This scale has made me cry more than ANYONE ever has in my entire life. It’s my worst enemy, and ten times worse because I have a huge butt (shocker, I know), and I do so many squats that it’s NOT fair to myself. I would get mad at that number & then do squats, and then cry because I built muscle & wasn’t losing weight.
My biggest issue was too evident yesterday… We ate bad. We spent over 7 hours in the car, and were away from home, like come on – it happens. I came home & said, “Oh at least I don’t look like I gained weight!” Stepped on the scale, read the number, looked in the mirror again, & felt like I looked like I gained weight. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I got to the point where I was letting the scale define how I felt about myself. The number dictated my attractiveness and it’s disgusting. I’m over it. Sure, I understand I’m NOT skinny. Yep, I’m going to have crappy days of eating. And I will DEFINITELY continue to work on myself. But I’m at a time in my life where I’m going to school full time, working full time in three jobs, and moving to a different state… And the fact that some nights I don’t eat good & some days I don’t work out, I CAN’T let that number define me anymore. I’m 24 damn years old, and aside from my loose skin from weight loss, and my cellulite, I’m not this whale that I keep thinking I am. I WILL have friends skinnier than me, and friends larger than me, and celebrities will ALWAYS look better than me. But, I have a “body type” that’s considered gorgeous right now, and I think that the scale is taking away from me being able to celebrate my curves, and actually love myself. Poor Dylan, because he’s only been trying to tell me this for two and a half years… I’m not sure what I would have done if I didn’t have such a strong man beside me. I had that whole long blog last week, and it’s like “oh I love myself, YAY” and then I posted it and checked at the number on the scale and was like “ew…” So, I’m done with that business. Onto the next life stress, cause it’s not my weight anymore.
So… Sunday… Well the scale got chucked into the dumpster with happiness. Dylan gave me a high five. We’re cute. We shopped & packed & shopped & packed… I also won a contest for yogurt & had a pretty hefty Target gift card, and we got all our odds and ends for the new apartment taken care of. I also tried some of that Yogurt (pictured above) and it’s an “Asian” version of Greek yogurt. Holler for a dollar honey boo boo, that’s GOOD. 12g protein, are you KIDDING ME?
Have a great week, we will be enjoying our last week in Lincoln!